idgonemad.net/About Sex, Part 1: Boring
Just shut the hell up, already.
People who think grudgematch bump-and-grind sessions lasting hours are cool or somehow indicative of sexual prowess or some such are some stupid jackasses. And they are absolutely not topics for conversations. Absolutely not.
And more than that sex is a boring topic ... what's this business? It took three hours to hurt? It took three seconds for your story to hurt my brain's eyes. Don't brag about your damned sex.
Let me spell this out really clearly for all of you.
Sex = BIG DEAL
It has been happening for MILLIONS OF YEARS. Sometimes even IN THE BUTT. It is the HEIGHT of OLD NEWS. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING INTERESTING in hearing ANYONE relate a story about how they managed to find another person and rub naughties. ESPECIALLY if you're a WOMAN! I haven't met a woman yet that could not find somebody willing to insert Tab A into Slot B.
And that it took you three hours to get your boyfriend off is nothing to brag about. Maybe it wouldn't take three hours if you did something more than LAYING THERE LIKE A BEANBAG CHAIR STUFFED WITH CRISCO. As far as unimpressive stories about sex go, it would be twenty times less unimpressive if you managed to rock his rocks off in under 3 minutes - now THAT tells me you know how to sex. It's still totally boring, but THAT would actually tell me you know what you're doing.
To Recap: SEX IS BORING. Sex is awesome, don't get me wrong, but it is like a magic trick where everyone knows how it works. Don't be so full of yourself as to think anyone else should care about how you get your jollies, and keep that crap to yourself - not because it's indecent, but because it is totally damned boring.
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