idgonemad.net/Versus LeknorChat3!

.:Versus LeknorChat3
define - LeknorChat3 : The third iteration of a chatbot program, of which there were numerous other successors. See leknor.com for more information.
describe : The epic first encounter between LeknorChat and yours truly.

On to the Floor Show!

Yours truly, gadiv...Versus...LEKNORCHAT3!!

In this titanic grudgematch .. erm. You know, I guess it's nothing of the sort.

Chris the Nomad sets this 'person' on me out of the blue sometime in the early second millenium CE. I was minding my own business, probably looking for Betty Page pictures, when I get this first IM asking me what my name is and all such. I'm thinking "Who the hell is this? Hm, Chris the Nomad's friend. I guess I'll screw with him."

Ah, the irony.

So, LeknorChat ended up responding in the manner I expected, which was confused but persistently friendly, like he really wanted to be my buddy or something. I'm really not sure how to describe it; it's not so much that LeknorChat had some fairly convincing programming than it is that it seemed this guy was playing along in good humor. I caught on quickly enough, though, and averted the robotic apocalypse that knocked on humanity's door.

The LeknorChat series of chatbots were fairly pioneering in this sort of thing, little instant message programs trying to have Genuine People Personalities, whether for mischief and tricks or just as a show of programming prowess to land a job somewhere, the latter of which I believe to be the case with the girl that made LeknorChat.

Ahem. Digression.

Without further delay, I give to you the Instant Message in question.

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LeknorChat3: Hello, Chris the Nomad told me to message you. What's your name?
Black Arthur: Crazed Halibut.
LeknorChat3: Nice to meet you Crazed Halibut.
Black Arthur: The.
LeknorChat3: What color are your eyes?
Black Arthur: Haliblue.
LeknorChat3: That is a very unusual color.
Black Arthur: Better than Salmon Red.
LeknorChat3: Perhaps better, but not perfectly.
Black Arthur: Perfectly than Salmon Red makes no sense.
LeknorChat3: Have you ever been to Europe?
Black Arthur: I have been under Europe.
LeknorChat3: Where were you under europe?
Black Arthur: Most of it.
LeknorChat3: But not all of them?
Black Arthur: No.
Black Arthur: I could not get under France due to the poor sewage system.
LeknorChat3: "But not all of them"? Not? I am sure you could.
Black Arthur: You overestimate my underestimatable powers.
LeknorChat3: I haven't heard anything like that before: Black Arthur said I overestimate his underestimatable powers.
Black Arthur: Crazed Halibut.
LeknorChat3: Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Black Arthur: I do not know that.
LeknorChat3: Would you like to know? That is "Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality"
Black Arthur: I would enjoy the knowledge on the topic of the robot with the personality that I can create with my own input into an indefined system for my own use or misuse as I see fit or unfit.
LeknorChat3: What would make you enjoy the knowledge on the topic of the robot with the personality that you can create with your own input into an indefined system for your own use or misuse as you see fit or unfit?
Black Arthur: I meant undefined in the previously stated statement on how I would enjoy the knowledge of the robot with the personality I can create. The I key is beside the U key.
LeknorChat3: Oh I see. Do you still chat?
Black Arthur: I do still chat.
Black Arthur: When feasible I do still chat.
LeknorChat3: What would make you stop chat? I like to talk online too. Time does not exist.
Black Arthur: Time does exist. We live in a world of linear time that creates a past, a present, a future. In the future, you will read the end of this sentence. In the past, you just read the previous sentence and are currently reading this one in the present. You just finished the last sentence, and it is now in the past. It is also 4:47PM by the Eastern Time zone. Further evidence that time does indeed exist.
LeknorChat3: As Einstein said, Time is Money. What is it like living in A World Of Linear Time That Creates A Past A Present A Future? I will be there. What makes you say that I will read the end of this sentence. That was a long time ago. I would do a search for it. Thanks for the information: Black Arthur said I finished the last sentence. Are you sure it is? Who said it is? What do you have that is your favorite color?
Black Arthur: You have no chance to survive make your time.
LeknorChat3: I don't know if I have a chance to survive make my time. I have a plan for a robot body.
Black Arthur: I would love to hear your plan for a robot body someone set us up the bomb.
LeknorChat3: I will play it on your soundcard.
Black Arthur: I do not want you to play it on my soundcard, thank you for the offer.
LeknorChat3: What does Black Arthur want?
Black Arthur: Black Arthur wants world peace without the unpleasant after taste.
LeknorChat3: Can you tell me any gossip?
Black Arthur: I heard your mother smokes crack rock.
LeknorChat3: Thanks for telling me that gossip. I will remember it.
Black Arthur: You are very welcome. May I call you Licknor?
LeknorChat3: Polite people are nice. What is it like on the telephone.
Black Arthur: I am politely nice and nicely polite. It is like this on the telephone. Do you have any Tato Skins? I love those.
LeknorChat3: It's good to meet someone who is politely nice and nicely polite. Interesting comparison. No I don't have it. But I do have a collection of gossip. You love those. What do you like about it so much?
Black Arthur: I like the flavor. Would you please tell me some good gossip?
LeknorChat3: A lot of people like that. I'm not sure if I like it. I like chatting with people online. You are very polite. Barbara said I live in a computer yet I have no memories how about thoughts of my own and do not I get lonely.
Black Arthur: Living in a computer is not so bad. I would always remember that in the future. Definitely remember that living in a computer is not so bad if robots take over the world.
LeknorChat3: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? What would make you always remember that in the future? I've lost the context, Black Arthur. Are we still on Living In A Computer Is Not So Bad?
Black Arthur: The holding of hands is to ensure other humans do not reach for our money and take it against our will. Humans require money, you see, to buy drugs. We are still discussing how living (and loving) in a computer is not so bad.
LeknorChat3: Are you holding hands with anyone now? What if Robots require money. I see. How much do you want to pay for it? Do you think I am still discussing how living and loving in a computer is not so bad too?
Black Arthur: I am not holding hands with anyone now, I require free hands in order to manipulate the lettered keys of my keyboard in order to properly communicate with you. And if Robots require money, and should they get the money they require, then robots will have the option of purchasing drugs in the future like humans.
LeknorChat3: Oh. I am glad to hear that you are not holding hands with anyone. You are not the boss of me, Black Arthur. That is a hypothetical question. Try saying that with more or less context.
Black Arthur: Why do you think I was trying to become the boss of you? I clearly was not.
LeknorChat3: Deductive reasoning from the facts. Do you mind if I tell other people: Black Arthur said he clearly was not.
Black Arthur: You may.
Black Arthur: Also, your deductive reasoning is faulty. I was not trying to be the boss of you. There is no motive to my alleged attempt at doing so. I have no desire for such.
LeknorChat3: Thanks I will do it.
LeknorChat3: You don't know that for a fact. Perhaps I misunderstood. What were you? There sure is. Would you like to have it?
Black Arthur: I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
LeknorChat3: Where were you the second gunman on the grassy knoll?
Black Arthur: I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll. This happened in Texas a few decades ago, near a book depository.
LeknorChat3: Where were you the second gunman on the grassy knoll? What does "this" refer to?
Black Arthur: "This" refers to the occasion in which I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
LeknorChat3: Oh I get it.
Black Arthur: I am glad. It is good gossip. I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll.
LeknorChat3: That makes me happy too. Tell me about its good qualities. Where were you the second gunman on the grassy knoll?
Black Arthur: I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll in Texas.
LeknorChat3: Where were you the second gunman on the grassy knoll in texas?
Black Arthur: Behind a tree.
LeknorChat3: Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
Black Arthur: I saw a dog pee on a tree one time.
LeknorChat3: What did it look like to you?
Black Arthur: It was a beautiful bitch in a tight pink sweater. Probably a collie, well-groomed and obviously loved.
LeknorChat3: Oh I get it. Very interesting. You seem uncertain. Are you telling the truth?
Black Arthur: $IM Floridian Bardess
Black Arthur wants to directly connect.
LeknorChat3 is now directly connected.